"maybe there are no maybes"

we all care enough to say that we don't care.. we're afraid caring would be too much of a commitment.. a too much weighing on our minds.. too much thinking.. when these feelings build up so long.. and caring gets too overwhelming.. we all utter the words, "I don't care.." its somehow liberating.. somehow it seals our fate.. somehow we'll never be the same again.. what if you went on caring instead of caring so much that you throw it away in order to be numb? to be free? to not be encumbered by obligations? such tiny things change the person we'll be forever.. a mark on a test, a glimmer in our eye, a touch of a hand.. a hesitation in judgment while you face a barreling freight train.. you love so much you hate.. then you hate yourself for hating and loving.. wounds heal with time and they leave you wondering.. what if? why not? how long do I have to look at this scar? and you hate yourself for your moment of hesistation, but you wouldn't ever take it all back.. because you're afraid.. afraid of what was, what is, what might have been.. how could you have been so stupid? so blind? so naive? don't do anything stupid.. don't do anything you'd regret.. just don't do anything..

people change.. sometimes, they do it slowly.. morphing and growing.. like the tree you planted in the back yard that you watched grow everyday of your life.. then suddenly, one day, you go "Oh, shit.." and you wonder how it gets this way.. is it your own fault? maybe we grew in different directions.. out, up, west, under.. the fact is that we're here.. and we stand looking back at all the choices we've made that make us who we are.. and you wonder where you went wrong.. but is it so wrong? maybe its for the better good.. "which is good at its best.." maybe we all lie to ourselves.. maybe we were just better at it than others.. maybe there are no maybes.. maybe there's only truth and lies.. and those gifted enough to see through the fog in their minds to distinguish them.. "kudos to those who see through sickness.."

"those left standing will make millions writing books on the way it should have been.."